Visitors

We have the most wonderful family and friends.  So many people have reached out to us since Ethan has passed and it has helped so much.  Every single card, note, gift, hug, prayer, and smile have meant so much to us.

In August, when we found out that Ethan wasn't going to be with us long, we told our immediate families that if they wanted to meet Ethan they would need to be here when he was born.  They rose to the occasion and every single one of my siblings and Jeff's siblings bought plane tickets to be here for Ethan's birth.  It was amazing to have so much support.  My four siblings (plus four grandchildren) planned to stay at my parents house, and Jeff's three siblings (plus two grandchildren, an aunt, and a sister-in-law) planned to stay with us.  If you're counting that meant 10 people in my parents house and 11 people at our house.  I have to be honest and say I was a little overwhelmed with the thought of delivering such a special baby, not knowing what the outcome would be, and entertaining so many guests.  I will be forever grateful for my mom and my mother-in-law for taking on the rolls as hostesses and making sure everything was taken care of.  My mom loaned us foam pads, sheets, pillows, and towels for everyone.  My sister Jen came over the night before guests arrived to help clean and set up beds.  And my mother-in-law took on  my duties as housewife the entire 4.5 weeks she was here.  It was a team effort!

Cousins: Braxton and Miles

Braxton, Harrison, Evelyn, Maddie, Misha

Christy and Jack Sr.

Harrison and Miles

Talking about Ethan's birth plan and setting up the Google Hangout

Jeff, Cathy, Megan, Evelyn

Two Peas in a Pod: Jeff and Maddie

Tom, Christy, Evelyn, Cathy, Tierney

Aunt Nancy, Tierney, Jared

I don't know what I'm doing here.

Jeff and his siblings

Jeff's family

My Family

I can't even describe how thankful I was that everyone was here.  Since we really didn't know what to expect when Ethan was born, I had so many different scenarios floating around in my head.  I was trying to figure out what it might be like after he was born, but really had no idea.  And the scenario that did end up playing out was not one that I had seen coming.  We were so shocked that Ethan came out so healthy, but declined so quickly.  I never imagined that we would be saying good-bye to our baby boy so soon. (Full birth story to come later.)  Anyway, even though I was a bit worried about having so many people around at such a fragile time, I am SO glad that everyone was here to meet Ethan.  It helped immensely to have such a big group of family around to love us and support us before, during, and after Ethan's birth.  And the hospital was very accommodating for our huge group.  On Monday (the 30th), I think we had claimed the three largest rooms in the labor and delivery unit of the hospital.  I am so glad they understood the importance of having our family close on that day.

After coming home from the hospital and getting through the week of the funeral (another story to come later), we had three wonderful visitors come and spend time with us.  It really helped me to have something to look forward to each day and a reason to get up out of bed in the morning.

Cathy - Jeff's Mom
Obviously Jeff's mom was here for Ethan's birth, but she stayed for four more weeks afterwards too.  This had been planned from the beginning so she could be there for me when Jeff went back to work.  At the time we didn't know if this meant sitting with Ethan and I at the hospital, helping me with a special new baby at home, keeping me company if Ethan passed away, or all of the above.  I told my mom one day after Ethan passed that it was weird to start making plans again.  For the longest time we couldn't make plans after September 30.  We had no idea what we would be doing and what our life would be like.  After the funeral Cathy and I were free to make plans for the next few weeks she was here.  Jeff took off two weeks from work, so we spent that time with him.  We relaxed at home, worked on a 1500 piece puzzle, played games, cross-stitched, watched movies, attempted to cook freezer meals (It's harder than it looks!), and ate out at all our favorite local restaurants.  We had a blast.  When Jeff went back to work, Cathy and I spent our days with my mom in her amazing basement sewing room.  We had so much fun working on several different projects.  We quilted on the long-arm machine, sewed quilt tops together, learned to applique, did a painted wall hanging, and found too many fun new projects to start.  It was so fun that I think we are going to try and make "Quilt Camp" an annual tradition.  I wish I would have taken pictures of all our projects we did!  Other than Jeff, I have the best in-laws in the world!  (And I'm not just saying that because I know they read this blog.)

Nichelle - My Best Friend
Nichelle gets the award for the most surprising visit.  Sunday night, the night before Ethan's graveside service, she showed up on our doorstep.  We had no idea she was coming.  She had driven about 1200 miles to get here and made it just in time to meet sweet baby Ethan before we buried him Monday morning.  I still can't believe she made such a long drive just to see us for a day before having to turn around and go back home.  It meant the world to me.
But that is not all... Nichelle came back (on an airplane this time) three weeks later to spend a week with me after Cathy left.  We had too much fun.  We spent a lot of time shopping, relaxing, and sleeping in.  We had such a great time.  That's what I love about Nichelle...we can have fun together doing absolutely nothing.  We also played games, cooked delicious meals, and talked and laughed a ton.  I am so blessed to have such a wonderful best friend!

Jessi - My College/Teacher/New Zealand Friend
Jessi and I met in college at BYU.  We lived in the same apartment complex, which meant we also went to church together.  We had the same major, which meant we had classes together.  We taught first grade together.  We even did study abroad together and were roommates in New Zealand.  Jessi is a great friend.  Our personalities are so much alike. Since she is a teacher, she came for the long weekend over Veteran's Day.  We spent Saturday running errands and attending a wedding reception.  Sunday was spent playing games and having dinner at my parent's house. On Monday we had brunch, got pedicures, and did a little shopping.  I am so glad she came to visit!

Now What?
Now it's back to being just Jeff and I.  It was wonderful to have so many visitors, and I think it really was good for me to have a reason to get out of bed everyday.  But it's also kind of nice to get back to "normal."

Jeff is back at work and doing really well.  He's gotten some good news from his boss recently that he is really excited about.  I am so proud of him for being such a hard worker.  I know it can't be easy for him to go to work everyday while I get to stay home and work on whatever projects I want.  He is such an amazing husband.
I have been busy with visitors and projects.  But I have also been looking at the future for me.  As much fun as it is to stay home all day and do whatever I want, I feel like something is missing.  I am pretty good at staying busy, and I have no doubt that I could keep myself busy all day, but there is something to be said about feeling "needed."  I miss knowing that someone is relying on me for something.  For that reason I have decided to s-l-o-w-l-y get back into teaching.  Even though there are teaching jobs available mid-year, I've been there/done that and don't ever want to do it again.  Instead I am going to try my hand at subbing.  I started seriously thinking about it last week and as of today I can officially start working.  Although I don't think I'm quite ready to take jobs yet.  I didn't expect the process to go so fast.  I am mentally preparing myself to start taking jobs after Thanksgiving.  We'll see...

Ethan's Story

Written with love by his father, Jeffrey, who felt he could not read it at the funeral service.  The story was read by his Auntie Megan.

Ethan Thomas K. was born as the first child to Jeffrey Wayne K. and Laura Ranae K. on September 30, 2013 at 4:15 PM.  He was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 21.5 inches long.  His short life ended at 5:37 PM the same day.

Ethan's middle name of Thomas was given for the first name of his maternal grandfather, Thomas Michael B., and the middle name of his paternal grand father, Jack Thomas K. Sr.

Ethan's story began at the 20 week ultrasound in May of 2013. Jeff and Laura learned their son, Ethan, had potential issues with his heart.  A fetal-echo-cardiogram confirmed Ethan suffered from Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) which is a diagnosis given to children with underdevelopment of the left side of their heart.  The diagnosis was dire but with three open heart surgeries and a heart transplant later in life, Ethan could be offered a challenging but rewarding life.

In an effort to support other heart moms and keep family updated, Laura paid forward the kindness of other heart moms by creating her blog, ourhlhsbaby.blogspot.com.  Through the kindness of friends and family, Ethan's blog has more than 10,000 views with readers in many countries.

On July 22, Ethan's diagnosis took a turn for the worst.  The severity of being born without a left heart ventricle was further complicated by Ethan having an Intact Atrial Septum (IAS) or the lack of a hole between the top two chambers of his heart.  The IAS prevented his heart from naturally mixing his red and blue blood.  Each day Ethan grew, blood pressure built in his heart's left atrium unable to escape quickly enough causing slow damage to his tender lungs.  His doctors were concerned he would be unable to properly oxygenate his blood after birth.

Ethan had joined the ranks of babies with the most severe and rare of heart defects.  His case was reviewed by doctors at the cutting edge of heart surgeries across the country.  With the addition of a catheter surgery immediately after birth, Ethan was offered a 50% chance to survive initially and a 5% chance to reach the age of 5.

Ethan gave a glimmer of hope during the final month of the pregnancy.  His heart had grown a vein early on allowing his blood to mix and reduce the blood pressure in his left atrium.  The little decompressing vein appeared to be doing its job.

Ethan arrived at a full 40 week term on September 30th.  During labor it became apparent his little heart didn't have the strength to withstand any contractions.  He was born by C-section surprising the room with his ability to cry.

Our best hopes were that Ethan's blood saturation would be 50%.  In a show of hope, Ethan delighted everyone with oxygen saturation levels of 66% and an APGAR score of 8.8 out of 10.  After a quick hug to his mother and photo, Ethan was rushed to the surgery room through a gauntlet of 22 loving grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins showing every sign that he would pull through.

During surgery, Ethan's heart defect and damaged lungs moved more quickly than the diligent and careful hands of his surgeons.  The complexity of the surgery they were attempting was not able to be completed successfully during the short time Ethan lived.  He returned home to his Heavenly Father one hour and 22 minutes after his birth.  

Ethan's short life is an immeasurable blessing in strengthening the marriage, faith, and devotion of his parents.  He has tightened family bonds and inspired the faith in Christ of many.  His short life and passing has reminded his family of the kindness and charity still prevalent in our communities.

Proud Parent Post

I won't write much today (although I plan to continue writing on this blog in the future), but I just have to share these amazing photos of Ethan.  If you know anyone who has a baby pass away, you must tell them about the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.  They take beautiful photos of your angel baby for free.  They are available all over the world, 24 hours a day.  They are amazing and we are so very very grateful to have such beautiful photographs of our sweet baby boy.  Enjoy.

Funeral Information

Ethan Thomas Kirk

Viewing:  4:00 pm 
Funeral:  5:00 pm
Friday, October 4, 2013
__________________________________
Graveside Service
Monday, October 7, 2013
10:00 am

Family and friends... For location information please see the information we have posted on Facebook or contact us directly.  We would love your support during these important events. 

Family Time

I forgot to say that Laura and Jeff were able to spend a minute or two with Ethan as soon as he was born before he went into surgery.  He was crying and their sweet nurse took some pictures of those moments.

Ethan Passed Away

We have some sad news to share now.  Ethan was not able to survive through the surgery.  His heart was just not strong enough and was not developed the way it needed to be to sustain his life.  His case was the worst the surgeon has ever seen. 

Jeff and Laura are going to spend some time privately with Ethan now.

Photo

Ethan is in surgery in the cath lab.  His surgery might take 3 hours or so (that's normal).  Laura is out of surgery and recovering in her room.  She is very tired and sleepy and not allowed to have visitors right now.  We are close by and ready to be there for us when she needs us.  Jeff is in the waiting room outside Ethan's surgery suite.  Jeff's father, brother, and sister-in-law are waiting with him. 

Look at all that hair!  This photo was taken by Megan, RN (Laura has talked about her on the blog before) right after he was born. 

Here is a video of Ethan being transported to the cath lab right after delivery.  Look at that awesome team of medical professionals taking care of him!  http://youtu.be/kIUYHER2weI  And all that family paparazzi trying to get a shot of him!